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David : Good morning Michael, I'm David,
Michael : And how did you get involved in the subject?
David : It started many years ago, but it's more to do with my fascination with human behaviour and human interaction.
David : Really, it's more of an interest for me - a hobby - male and female interaction and how they come across and whether it should be the male that does all of the talking and the female that listens more, or a combination of both.
And through the years I've put together much of my experience and research from my activities in the field. It's all been a hobby, an interest, a bit of fun.
Michael : And do you get better results now?
David : Definitely; and that's only because of the experience that I've had with it. When I first started off it was nerve-racking, it was a bad experience - and that's what I'd like to talk about today. A real factor is mental ability - What you should be thinking before going into a meeting.
Michael : Different question - What do you think that it is that attracts women?
David : It could be many things. It could be money, wealth; but you as an individual are interesting. Women want to talk to you. It doesn't matter what you look like or what you do - they want to speak with you and of course, you want to speak to them.
It's all about the mental preparation; how you feel and how you come across.
Michael : OK, so if you were coaching somebody on this what would you suggest that they did?
David : I like to look at it as a games console. You've got a brand new games console and you're unfamiliar with the controls of the keypad and with this game that you're playing, you'd never really jump straight into hard mode.
You'd start off in easy, and that's how you should look at this whole process - a bit of fun, a hobby, say - Just to try a few ideas and concepts. But only by doing that, and getting some experience, would you be able to improve upon that and think 'Actually, I could do this next time.'
But really, really, you've got to just enjoy it, and have a bit of fun and think positively about it. Don't think of it as people watching you, because it's probably not the case, and you're probably never going to see these people again.
So just go for it as if it's a bit of fun, a bit of enjoyment an just see how it goes. And by then the thirst will come through - You will begin to enjoy the responses that you've been getting.
You'll obviously find that there are some things that don't work and I still do, but it's all about the learning curve and having a little fun as you do it.
Michael : So just give us some examples of how you would suggest that somebody were to prepare themselves.
David : There are so many things to go through, but the mental side of things is probably the most important and basic of all things. It's how you start yourself off, how you are preparing yourself in this environment.
Because going up to a girl, or a group of girls even is difficult. They don't know you and you don't know them. So it's very, very difficult. But there are so many ways to come across that will make you look interesting. As I said, whatever you look like they want to talk to you. They're out, they want to have a good time.
Women want to talk to other men. What can they bring to the table? They don't know you, they don't know your history, so just have some fun with it - Even lie if you want to - and just have a little fun, because they're never going to see you again, most likely.
But, the whole idea is to build up your confidence levels and starting off with the mental side of things. Now I could go through loads of the steps, but really the mental side of things is for the absolute beginner.
Say you're interested in this. Say that you actually want to learn to become more social, and that you want to get to know more or more women.
That's easy. It's easy for me to say so because I've done it, but really it is really, really easy. And the first step is to actually start to think about the positive side of things; what can this do for you?
So start to think of it in terms of a hobby. You're interested. You can read loads and loads of books, but the best thing to do is to go out there and try it.
It can be as simple as going out to a supermarket and chatting to the checkout lady or even the staff - because they actually have to talk to you and it's a good way to build up your confidence in talking to females and learning how things are.
Don't worry. They're there working. They have to be there for the next couple of hours anyway, so they'll have no qualms in helping you. But it starts to make you confident in asking women questions. And you can move on from that. You can start to engage in conversation with bartenders, waitresses - And these people have got to be there, and they want to leave a good impression.
And that will give you good positive pheromones inside you, and will make you happy. By doing that when you then go and talk to other females, you will actually radiate - You really will, because you feel confident, you're happy and you're coming across as someone that is interested - Someone that they want to talk to.
And it really is that easy. Just start off small, really do. Just talk to people in your everyday life. Even if somebody calls you for a telesales call something like that, use it as a good time to brush up on your own communication skills. Listen to what they're saying. Lead them along if you want - You might not want to buy what they're selling, but they're going to be happy and joyful in talking to you, so be happy and joyful talking to them.
It may not go anywhere, but it's a good start.
Michael : Is there anything else - And I appreciate that this is a really big topic and you're giving people an easy place to start, which I really like. Is there anything else that you would like to add or to emphasize about what you've said, or anything else that would help people move forward in this area?
David : It is a starting block. There are so many more steps that go into this; but the first steps are having an interest in this, and wanting to do this.
It's all well and good listening and reading and taking in loads of information on how to pick up women, but there's got to be a fire inside that says 'Actually, I'm interested in this topic. I would like to become more sociable. I would lie to talk to more women. More women in my friendship circle. That's what I want. "
Having that goal in mind subconsciously works for you. You won't recognise it on a conscious level, but wanting to do it, wanting to progress further, will push you into the next stages - So going from easy, in a game, to going onto medium and then onto hard.
As I said, there's many more steps after this, but these are some real basics for anyone who wants to get into the industry, or anybody who wants to get into the idea or hobby of talking to, and being around lots of women.
Michael : Excellent. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Is there anything that you're doing that you'd like to plug or to bring to the awareness of our listeners?
David : Yes. There's some podcasts that I'm currently recording which should give you some pointers, some steps. These are things that you can listen to before you go on a date, before you go and talk to a group of women, or even individually.
These are just ideas and it puts you into a positive mental state. Things that will just make you feel more radiate and more interesting. these could be pointers of what to talk about with women, how to feel, and how to react even with women if they say something a bit coy, a bit sharpish.
If a woman is scornful - It's just a way of picking yourself up and saying 'It's just a bit of fun, it's OK. I'm happy with this.' and move on.
And as I say there are plenty of locations out there. There's loads of women out there. Just have a bit of fun with it.
So what I'm doing is putting together some motivational podcast that should give you some pointers, some interests, and they should be available at Pick A Girl, Any Girl.com.
Michael : OK. Thanks for your help.
David : Thank you very much for having me.