Cold reading

I was quietly drinking a bottle of Stella and a dancer came up to me and asked:

"Hey Mr psychic tell me something about me you can't possibly know!"

"hmmm" I responded "It's really curious I'm actually seeing an image of you about five years ago......and it's really interesting........it's strange...I can see and hear you......you weren't nearly as confident then; you've put a lot of work into coming over as confidently as you do now, haven't you?"

Silence..

"Oh ***k! how could you possibly know, you're absolutely right....I wish I hadn't asked.....I'm feeling quite strange.....I expected you to say something totally superficial."

Which is a real example of cold reading - I know it happened last week. Although on paper it doesn't anything like as powerful as in real life.

Ian Rowland defines cold reading as:

"......a deceptive psychological strategy. Amongst other things it can be used by someone who is not a psychic to give what seems to be a very convincing psychic readings."

It's a short cut and exceptionally effective way of giving highly effective psychic readings including tarot, astrology, palmistry, meduimship, clairvoyance, psychometry, crystal ball gazing, aura reading and intuitive reading - while knowing only a smattering of the vocabulary of the method being used.

And used by Derren Brown.

You can buy Ian's book 'The full facts book of cold reading' here

Actually like all communication techniques it is only deceptive when used to deceive people. Cold reading is done naturally by all good communicators - whether in seduction, dating, sales or psychic reading.

It shares many similarities with hypnosis (is cold reading an application of NLP?). When I read Ian's book I alternated between laughing (some of its so obvious - and totally ruthless - although this doesn't stop it working) and feeling slightly ill (I suddenly realised how a number of people I know get away with appearing exceptionally knowledgeable while knowing very little.)

It's a fusion of many skills including rapport, listening, questioning, understanding basic human nature, state management, storytelling, being vague at times, using everything that's offered, presenting both sides of a charachteristic at once, having a back up plan you so know where to go whatever responses you get etc. etc. You can use it to create very strong rapport and a very strong emotional connection.

However like many of the topics in this seduction blog.......if you learn any of the techniques or approaches and put them into practice you cannot not learn about people. And when your approaches fail, as they must eventually - that is when the connection thats been created is what counts.

If you're interested I highly recommend Ian's book.

Any questions give me a call. Or simply add a comment!

Michael
(01908) 506563

PPI Business NLP Ltd

Technorati Tags NLP Seduction




See also David Regler's excellent blog on:

http://www.maine-associates.co.uk/blog/2006/05/now-cross-my-palm-with-silver.html

Eliciting values

Eliciting values is one the quickest ways of both getting into rapport and finding out how much you have in common with someone. The interesting thing about these approaches is that whoever you're approaching will often learn about themselves - and be grateful for the experience.

I recently met someone who I'd only met once and hadn't seen for a year who said that they both remembered the interaction and really enjoyed it.

Warm up

I'm starting with a superb Ross Jeffries approach which is amazing fun, offers the opportunity to practice some great anchoring - and a genuine way of developing a strong connection with someone. It also stops the conversation getting too serious!!

It uses the classic Richard Bandler technique of asking someone to choose between two close alternatives - they have to think deeply! (Answer the questions yourself as I ask them - works equally well for men, just substitute girl for man.)

"I read a fun thing about relationships. Can I ask you some quick questions?"

"Two men - one has a great touch; one is a great dancer, which would you choose?"

and to whichever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

"Two men - one can really, really make you laugh; one is a great kisser, which would you choose?"

and to whichever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

"Two men - one is really rich; the other makes you feel the most desired women in the country, in fact on the planet, which would you choose?"

and to which ever they choose ask "Whats important to you about (their words) ?"

So if you met a man who was (repeat back their answers) you would probably be interested?

Check their non verbal response!

"That's really interesting I'm just curious; to keep a man like that coming back to you again and again, what three qualities to you offer him?"

Interestingly enough very few go for the money option (although my daughter is one of the exceptions).

Eliciting values

You may then choose to continue to a more traditional values elicitation:

"Tell me whats important you in a relationship - give me some key words?"

Whatever the answer is "That's interesting - what does that get you?

When you have a number ask "Which of those is the most important?"

When you've done that ask "and what else.

When you've finished repeat back the 3-5 most important asking "So what's important to you is .............." Watch their non verbal response.

So what typically is important to women in a relationship

Typical answers include:

*Security, Connection, Trust, Attraction, Self reliance, Excitement

Inteestingly enough some (men) will say that social proof is important - which explains why some (not all) women will normally be attracted to a man who is already with an attractive women.

Which is why many seduction approaches are based on exploring security, connection, attraction and social proof.

(*of course some (women) consider being with the most dangerous man the safest place to be.)

Any questions give me a call. Or simply add a comment!

Michael

(01908) 506563

PPI Business NLP Ltd

Technorati Tags NLP Seduction